Ram on the Run
by The Green Spirit
Summary: One day Ram goes too far, fleeing from Lowee she's forced to head to Planeptune in search of help from Nepgear. With Blanc's wrath following her the pink haired candidate is all that stands between Ram and utter catastrophe. However only time will tell if what Ram did can even be fixed let alone before she gets caught!
1. Too far

**Ram on the run**

 **Chapter 1: Too far**

* * *

Lowee to Planeptune Transport Terminal

As the hourly train from Lowee to Planeptune entered the station a small splotch of pink and white joined the flood off passengers departing. In recent years the two nations had become a bit closer opening up many opportunities for work and pleasure across the border meaning the terminal was almost always packed around this time each day. The crush of rush hour foot traffic gave the small girl with long flowing brown hair the cover seen needed to avoid getting too easily spotted.

They had to be after her by now, there was no chance at least one person wasn't in this station looking for her and the odds were better Lowee had already dispatched more than a few agents to each land, air, and sea crossing between them and each nation. Ram was a fugitive now and she knew it, the little CPU candidate was being hunted for sure and the price for being caught may as well of been her life!

Ram had always been known as a prankster and been more than willing to bend the rules in the name of (semi) harmless fun with her sister which almost always came at the expense of either their guardian Mina or their big sister Blanc. This time was different, Ram had taken things too far.

Waaaay too far….

She had done it. Ram had successfully found the line she was never meant to cross and barreled over it in a moment of petty anger doing irreparable damage to her relationship with her sister. Normally that would be bad but it was which sister that made it worse. It had all started when she was playing a game with Rom in their room that morning that Rom was doing just a little _too_ good at for the prideful Ram. They agreed to switch and take turns as they died but for over an hour Rom never made any mistakes, every pitfall was dodged, every attack deflected, every boss beaten on the first try. Ram had tried to take the controller from her hands by force which lead to a little altercation between the two. It was rare for the sisters to fight and it was even rarer for Rom to stand up to Ram like she did. Ram should have known better! Rom was looking forward to this new game for months now and when she had it she didn't want to let it go when they both agreed on when to take turns.

That's when Ram lost her temper and said... **it** …

With her face flushed with anger Ram had said the **absolute, worst, most terrible** **possible** thing a human or CPU could say to another!

Ram had unleashed the most terrible curse in all of Gamindusturi on her own sister!

The thought of what she had said and the look on Rom's face still pained Ram's heart, before Mina could even check on the two Ram had fled the Basilicom and headed to the border. A older woman's scream and the sound of soft sobbing as she left the building told Ram all she needed to hear. With her basic traveling gear she headed through Lowee territory without a word and made her way to the train station linking the snowy nation with Planeptune and Lastation.

The furious sound of her name being called reached all the way to the terminal letting Ram know that her big sister knew what she had done now, more than likely informed by a shaken Mina or a crying Rom. Even though the scream scared her Ram wasn't running away to escape punishment, as much as she was sure Blanc was going to **obliterate** her the next time they met Ram was running for another reason.

' _I'll fix this Rom! I will!'_

From the second Ram had left Lowee her goal wasn't to escape punishment, it was to find some way to apologize to her twin sister who she had left sobbing on the floor after what she had said. She knew Blanc was going to punish her dearly and she was ok with that but if she was grounded for the rest of the year she wouldn't be able to find some way to make it up to Rom!

"The coast is clear...I think" said Ram as she checked the station from behind a pillar she was using as cover

Darting out and into the crowd Ram kept bobbing and weaving until she was free of the Lowee affiliated station. While Lowee was probably on full alert there was no way the other nations could have been notified yet, her sister would check Lowee with a fine tooth comb before bothering to get the other CPUs involved. Ram knew Blanc hated asking for help and would despise even admitting something like this had happened on her watch, the candidate couldn't even imagine what the likes of Noire or Vert would say when they heard of what she had said!

As she slipped out of the station her relief was short lived for, while she was free for the moment from pursuit, there was still not much time. The reason she had left for Planeptune was because she needed to speak to someone; possibly the only person she thought could help her right now! Ram had to get to her and explain what had happened before someone else could tell her and turn her against the pink-hatted candidate!

Once she was clear of the station Ram found a less traveled path leading into Planeptune city proper flanked by trees on either side and decided to rest up for a bit beneath the shade of a taller willow.

"Nepgear...You're my last hope here! Please be where I can find you!" Ram prayed as she opened up her handheld

She had avoided using it until now because of the risk of someone tracking her but Ram was now forced to activate the phone feature and call up Gear. After all the movies she had seen Ram knew that using a phone could lead the bad guys right to her but it was the only way to find Nepgear in time. With each button press she prayed there was enough distance between her and her pursuers to give her enough time to find Nepgear and talk to her, even if Blanc knew she was in Planeptune it would take time to locate her in a foreign country.

" _Hello Nepgear speaking!"_

"Hi, Nepgear? Are you busy?"

" _Oh! It's Ram! How are you?"_

"I'm reallysorry but I don't have time to talk!"

" _W_ _hy_ _would you call me th-"_

"I need help! I hate to even say it but I need help; really, really, **really** badly!"

" _Gasp! Did something happen?! Is it another evil organization? Is Lowee in danger? Should I get big sis to-"_

"No! Nothing like that! Don't tell Neptune! (Sigh) J-Just...can you meet me somewhere?"

" _Don't tell sister? Ram what's going on?"_

"It's personal ok!?"

" _Ek! Ok! I was just finishing up my new robot but I can meet you. Where do you want to meet?"_

"Just-Just somewhere where there's not a lot of people ok!"

" _Ram are you ok? You sound a little sad, are you crying?"_

Ram choked back her tears, she hadn't even noticed she was acting so pathetic!

"I'm fine!"

" _O-Ok we can meet near Vitua park in ten minutes. Is that ok?"_

"G-Got it! I'll be there! You better not bring anyone else Nepgear or I'll hate you forever!"

 _Click!_

Truth be told Ram felt bad about hanging up like that but she wasn't about to let Nepgear think she was weak! Without another word the rambunctious candidate got up from her bench and began heading towards the park. Nepgear was her last shot at ever talking to Rom again and she wasn't about to be late!


	2. You said WHAT?

**Ram on the Run**

 **Chapter 2: You said WHAT?!**

* * *

Vitura City Park

It had taken her some time to arrive quietly at Virtua Park but eventually Nepgear made it, the reason she was almost late was because she had found her sister roiling around on the couch claiming she could sense a "disturbance in the force" as a result of some "Great anger" and wanted Nep Jr. around to cuddle up to for safety. It wasn't uncommon for Neptune to want to snuggle with her little sister from time to time but it was rare for Nepgear to turn her down which almost forced her to explain what was going on with Ram to her and a nearby Histoire who had been arguing with Neptune about doing work in the living room while Nepgear passed. After making something up about needing parts from a specific monster in the park for her robot and that she wanted to work alone today in order to test a new skill on the low level mobs Gear finally left the tower and was in Virtua Park in a flash.

Once there things a turn for the strange when she located Ram hiding out in a cardboard box by a bench which the little candidate explained away as both "necessary" and, somehow, "effective" for avoiding detection. Nepgear thought she might have been playing at first but when it became clear she actually thought people (from Lowee) strangely were after her the taller candidate calmly assured her no one was around and tenderly lifted her from the box.

The two of them were currently sitting on a nearby bench where Ram was explaining how she had said some bad words to Rom in a silly little fight. Nepgear thought it was tragic to see the two sisters have a falling out like this was really thought Ram might have been blowing things out of proportion.

"I keep telling you it's not that simple! I did something really, really, really bad!"

"Ok...Ok...Calm down Ram, I'm sure everything is fine"

"It's not fine!"

She still didn't know why Ram had specifically come to her after all this happened but Nepgear could see she was extremely upset over what had happened. Even if she was putting on a strong face there were tiny tears in the corner of Ram's eyes as she yelled out in frustration, whatever had happened had left her in a bad way.

"Ram I understand that you're upset-"

"I'm not crying!"

"I didn't say that, all I'm saying is that maybe you should go home and explain to Blanc and Rom that it was all a big mistake and that you-"

"Ugh! Nepgear haven't you been listening to a word I said?! I can't just "I'm sorry" this! This is just too terrible for that!"

Nepgear wanted to console the girl but she still refused to give up one critical piece of information...

"I might understand the situation a bit better if you would tell me what you said. I'm a big girl so you tell me any bad language you might know, I won't scold you, I just want to know how to help"

Ram grinded her teeth and grunted before relenting and quickly writing what she had said down on a piece of paper from her pouch. The scribbled handwriting was shoved into Nepgear's hands with Ram refusing to make eye contact, Nepgear thought it was due to shame of her messy handwriting but the truth was Ram wasn't comfortable even writing that phrase down. She knew how Nepgear was going to respond once she found out and she wasn't looking forward to a tongue lashing before she even ran into Blanc or Mina again!

"Let's see what all the fuss is about...Huh? You two were arguing about breakfast?"

"My handwriting isn't that bad!"

"Well…"

"Fine!"

With that admission Ram decided to get things over with and just whisper what she had said into Nepgear's ear rather than hear any more comments on her penmanship.

"I said...I said…(Sigh) I said (whisper whisper whisper)"

As the silent words reach her ear Nepgear jumped in her seat so high she fell onto her Nep butt after stumbling off the bench while screeching.

"What the badness?!"

"I TOLD you!"

Ram wasn't kidding! This was THAT bad!

At first Nepgear though she was being a little drama queen but now she knew the horrid truth!

Ram had done it…

Ram had said **IT** …

The showstopper…

The most despised insult in the all the four nations…

The the point of no return from which any relationship had ever recovered!

An insult you would only drop after the divorce was fully settled and never expected to be in the same room with that person ever again!

Something so terrible Nepgear wouldn't even consider saying it to the Deity of Sin!

Words with the power to re-start the console war if any CPU ever said them to another!

Nepgear scrambled to her feet and snatched the paper from earlier before the wind could blow it away. Messy or not she couldn't let anyone see this! One bad tabloid or some poor kid finding this paper and these words and it could easily become an international incident should anyone recognize Ram's handwriting!

She took the page, crumbled it up into a ball, tore it to shreds, tossed the pieces into a nearby metal garbage can, and finally set the contents of the can on on fire using some spare machine oil and a quick burst of her beam sword.

"Well you're taking this as well as I expected…" huffed Ram bitterly as she watched Nepgear literally set her words on fire rather than let anyone else see them.

"WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?! YOU DON'T SAY THOSE WORDS TO ANYONE! YOU JUST DON'T!"

"I KNOW!" shouted Ram with anger before surprising Nepgear by going all teary eyed "I know…"

Seeing Ram actually try and fight her tears filled Nepgear with guilt, she had come to her help and this was how she reacted!

' _Poor Rom, she must think her sister truly hates her and Ram thinks that now Rom hates her for saying that. She knows what she did is wrong and I'm sure Blanc will give her enough of a punishment later. For now, I need to help her someway'_

Punishing Ram or scolding her was an exercise in redundancy, the tears streaking the normally proud girl's face told Gear she was in enough pain already and for her to actually break down like this in front of her meant the guilt was truly overwhelming. Ram believed she was faced with the prospect of her own precious sister never talking to her again and that was someone more terrible than any punishment even Iris Heart could come up with. Put into her position Nepgear would rather let even that sadist play with her for days and days rather than risk ever having that happen with her own sister Neptune. Blanc and her wrath really wasn't the issue here, Ram could handle that, the problem was somehow clearing her name with Rom.

"I'm sorry Ram...I over reacted. You have enough problems without me adding to them…"

Nepgear satback down and threw a arm around the crying girl, giving her a few pats on the shoulder like Neptune would do with her whenever she was upset. It still boggled her mind that Ram would be this openly emotional. Ram letting her see her cry was like Uni crying in front of her! Both girls were very mindful of putting on a strong front so to let her guard down like this...Ram was truly being crushed by what she had done.

"Nepgear, I need your help!" sobbed Ram as she clasped to the candidate's arm like a child begging for a toy from their mother "You're the only way Rom will ever speak to me again! I need to do something absolutely, positively huge for her! I need to get her the best gift ever!"

"I can kind of understand, you want to get something for Rom to show how sorry you are. What do you have in mind?"

"Nepgear I need you to go on a date with Rom!"

"...What the goodness!?"

* * *

Author Note: This is a nice little side story to write. Please leave a review if you're enjoying.


	3. War Room

**Ram on the Run**

 **Chapter 3: War Room**

* * *

" **Enter"**

With a heavy creak the massive wooden doors to Blanc's office opened up; Mina always complained about the comically over-sized doors being a pain to open every so often but today was not a day for such trivialities.

At her desk sat Blanc with the room barely lit at all, her hands folded together in front of her face **"Do you have a report for me?"** she asked with no emotion

"You should really have the curtains open while reading Blanc, all this darkness is bad for your eyesight…"

" **I did not ask for medical advice Mina, do you have something to report about our current situation? How is the deployment of our search parties progressing? Has the border been secured?"** there was no hint of humor, Blanc's tone was that of uncompromising seriousness.

A small vein popped in her Oracle Mina Nishizawa's forehead. She knew damn well why Blanc was acting this way and refused to cooperate.

"(Sigh) Lady Blanc, I know you want to be prepared to punish Ram when we find her but this is too much! Practicing your fear tactics before she can be located is pointless overkill!" the oracle in red scolded

" **I have no time for such-"**

"Listen here young lady! Open these blinds before you damage your corneas reading all these papers in this darkness and quit trying to pretend you're attempting to use the Evangelions to trigger the third impact!"

There was series of angry mumbles as Blanc slammed a fist down onto a remote causing the auto blinds to lift. Mina ignored the grumbles and gave a peaceful sigh as light filled the room.

"Stupid- _mumblemumblemumble_ -ruining the mood- _mumblemumblemumble_ -I can do what I want…"

"Now then, isn't this much better?" offered Mina as she finally delivered her stack of papers and some fresh tea to her bitter charge "Dark rooms will do nothing to improve dark moods…" she additionally lectured

"There! The blinds are open! Now tell me what's the status of the operation!?"

There was another groan from the beleaguered scholar as she contemplated which of the CPU's was actually causing the most problems today. While Ram had started the mess with her foul language and Rom was completely inconsolable Blanc wasn't helping matters with her unrestrained anger. Mina was in full agreement with her that Ram had gone to far but acting up like this until Ram could be found made Blanc almost seem as childish!

"There has been no sign of her throughout Lowee"

"Search again! More guards!"

"We have already sent out all spare guards under the guise that Ram may have gotten lost in order to avoid leaking to the press any details that might make us look bad. Their orders are to report any sightings and avoid approaching her or being seen by her if possible"

"Don't we have any more!? Maybe by redeploying-?"

"We are not putting our people at risk of monsters because of this and that's final" Mina sternly warned

Even if she was only an adviser and Blanc held all the real power while she in the capital Mina refused to allow Blanc's anger to take things too far. Letting one's anger get the better of you had lead to this incident in the first place! It was Mina's duty to put her foot down and keep Blanc in check; she was a voice of reason to counterbalance Blanc's anger for the good of the people so she could not afford to yield or give an inch.

"Fine, what about the borders?" huffed Blanc in defeat on the matter

"Agents have been quietly dispatched to be on the lookout but it is taking time for them-"

"Tell them to hurry the hell up! I'm not letting Ram get away!"

"We are dealing with stations and border crossings manned by foreign governments and carrying foreign citizens. We can ill afford to blitz such locations with our intelligence teams. Imagine if they believed it to be a prelude to an act of war! Do you want to have to explain to them what happened in order to avoid that?"

"Hell no! Goddamn thunder tits will never let me hear the end of it if she finds out about this! Argh! Noire will be even worse! She already believes herself so damn high and mighty it makes me sick! Those three will hold this over my head forever!"

Blanc could already hear Neptune, Noire, and Vert mocking her if they found out!

" _Considering who she lives with it's actually surprising Ram took so long to finally say something her dear old sister probably taught her! Of course Nep Jr would NEVER say anything like that!"_

" _So much for Lowee being child friendly! Such language would never be tolerated in Lastation! We're just too high class to say such terrible things! My Uni would know better than to disgrace herself with words like that! This just goes to prove the superiority of the Lastation CPUs!"_

" _Blanc how could you let Ram learn such a vulgar phrase!? You clearly must not be caring for those sisters of yours properly! I insist you let little Rom stay with me while she recovers from this trauma!"_

"Those bitches…!" Blanc hissed with a raised fist

Mina adjusted her glasses with a satisfied smirk on her face, she had forced Blanc to see the need to tone things down a bit by playing to her fears. Blanc may not have been overly interested in logic while she was this angry but her feuding with the other CPUs made for a nice anvil so she hammer her back to her senses...

"What about that plan before where we-"

"We cannot close all the borders and claim a pandemic scare! I told you this before!"

Or Maybe not…

"Graaaagh!" sighed Blanc as she fell back into her plush chair with a frustrated flop. As the pillows disgorged a few feathers there was a moment of silence where she just let her arms fall to her side and hang.

Constant rage was finally catching up to her and Mina could see her try to force a few crinks out of her shoulders.

"Would you like a small massage Lady Blanc?"

Mina could see her CPU was beginning to cool off as she always did and knew the stress always pooled along her neck and shoulders. Anything to help Blanc calm down for the moment was a good thing and on a more personal level the oracle in red did care about Blanc like she was her own family.

"Do it like you always do Mina"

"Of course"

Over the next few minutes Blanc avoided the papers in front of her and let Mina work her magic while she enjoyed some of the tea she had brought. Mina was probably the best damn Oracle in the world in Blanc's view and it was moments like these that proved it in her eyes. She could mostly manage the twins, defend the nation and run it while she was away, and she knew just what it took to stop her murderous rage whenever it was in full bloom.

"Siggggghhhh…. Wonderful…."

"I'm glad you think so. Feeling better now?"

"Much! I still want to want to throw Ram off a cliff but the desire to set her on fire first is gone…...for the moment"

"You sounded far too calm while saying that…"

"Do I need to remind you that she said-"

"I know, I know...Ram said... _IT!_ " Mina actually looked around the room for any service staff before just deciding not to say the phrase in full

"Ugh, even if we catch her I still don't know how the hell to punish something like this" Blanc despaired despite Mina's intervention "It has to be the worst punishment she's ever felt!"

"A punishment must fit the crime" Mina conceded while hoping her master would not work herself up again too much

"A beating is too short and I can't make it hurt enough without killing her. I was thinking being grounded for three years might be too short. What do you think Mina?"

The Oracle was forced to pause and actually consider the question. Ram had something bad coming to her for sure, but, the point of a punishment was to teach a lesson in a way that forced the other party to learn it. She could be stern but Mina never overly punished the twins for any bad behavior since she viewed excessive punishment as counterproductive to the ultimate goal of raising the twins properly.

"I'm not sure how effective it is but isn't the old "wash their mouth out with soap" punishment usually reserved for these situations?"

Blanc liked Mina's suggestion but saw a slightly more improved way "I know! I'll get Gust to brew a potion that will mess with her mouth and make all her candy taste like soap! Ha Ha! She'll be unable to eat any candy even behind our backs for _years!_ Let's see her forget about this episode after something like that!"

"I suppose that might be fair, however, we may need to tone down the length of any such punishment to under a year at most"

"You're far too lenient with those two Mina" snipped Blanc

"Combined with more conventional punishments such a thing may be more effective. A punishment of excessive length may distract from the original crime they are meant to reflect upon"

Even Blanc had to concede there was merit to Mina's argument, even if she didn't completely agree, and silently agreed with the Oracle.

With that matter out of the way she attempted to get back to Mina's massage but found herself faced with another issue soon after.

"..."

"Blanc?"

"Yes Mina?"

"Isn't there something you need to ask me?"

"Not that I know of"

"Anything at all?"

"Is this another of those "share your feelings more" type things? Neptune brings that crap up with Noire all the time so-ouch!"

A sharp pain crossed Blanc's back when Mina pinched down roughly "Not _your_ feelings! Rom's feelings! You still haven't asked me how Rom is doing!"

Nothing annoyed Mina more than seeing Blanc make foolish mistakes with the twins. By the goddess, Blanc may have loved those two but boy could her priorities could really get scrambled when she was angry!

"I just didn't see it as necessary. She's been in her room crying the whole time and that sure as shit isn't going to changing anytime soon. Why as a question when I already know the answe-OW!"

Blanc's dismissive attitude frustrated her Oracle "The point isn't new information! It's showing you care about Rom's feelings! She's very upset and needs support from her big sister!"

' _Little Rom; she's been laying on her bed and sobbing for over four hours now. I can barely even get her to acknowledge I exist. She just keeps staring at the wall while hugging Ram's pillow'_

That last part held hidden meaning even Mina didn't know about. When Ram had uttered her insult she had tossed the pillow at Rom's face, it was when Rom picked up the pillow from off the floor that she had started bawling her eyes out. The Pillow was in her hands the last time she had seem Ram and since then Rom had refused to drop the cushion with Ram's name woven into it with pink thread. She always had clutched it to her chest with an unwavering death grip, as if she was terrified to let it go. Rom cired into it, she sniffed it, and hugged it non-stop.

"Listen Mina, I know Rom is upset, that's why I'm going to find her sister and make her apologize before I get around to electroshocking the utter goddamn hell out of her" Blanc reasoned calmly

"What Rom doesn't need is to see Ram in pain; what she needs is someone to comfort her! She still seems to think she did something wrong here and I've done all I can to help her, she needs her big sister to be there for her! Have you even spoken to her? Just one word even?"

Even the prideful CPU of Lowee shrugged away from this challenge as she knew Mina was right but didn't want to admit it. The sound of the door bursting open spared her the humiliation of having to justify her actions when a Lowee Captain entered the room post haste.

"Ma'am! We have gained critical intelligence in regards to the younger white sister's location!" the brunette in a red uniform explained with a salute

"Where is she!? Tell me!"

"We do not have an exact lock on her location but her personal handheld made a call to a tower outside Lowee"

' _Not Planeptune, Not Planeptune, Not Planeptune, Not Planeptune, Not Planeptune, Not Planeptune, Not Planeptune'_

"Where is she? Where was the call made?" asked Mina while Blanc prayed for mercy

"Planeptune Ma'am!"

' _Goddammit...'_

Blanc's frustration was either unnoticed or ignored by both Mina and the guard as she demanded to know who Ram had been calling and what about.

"Unable to tell Ma'am! We confirmed it was her handheld and that the call routed through a Planeptune communications tower but anything else is impossible to decipher!"

With that the guard was waved off by a frustrated Blanc who turned to her Oracle with instructions "Mina, get in contact with the Planetpune guild. We're going to offer up a reward to anyone who can get Ram back her quietly"

"We are not sending bounty hunters after Ram in a foreign land!"

"Well I can't go!" yelled Blanc drawing a confused stare from Mina

"Why not? Even if you don't want them to find out about this incident going to Planeptune yourself shouldn't be a big issue. You can just claim it's for private reasons"

Blanc was in and out of the other nations all the time sometimes even multiple lands in one day. While she would have to communicate her presence in the host nation for diplomatic reasons like all the CPU's nothing said she had to explain why she was there. Mina just couldn't figure out why Blanc suddenly appeared so worried about going to Planeptune.

"It's not that simple…" Blanc admitted

"How so?"

In a literal face-palm moment Blanc explained "Neptune is hosting a giant part for Thunder Tits and Noire to celebrate that new hit game they just released across both their platforms today. Naturally she told me and the twins to come but I felt like reading today so…"

"What you mean to say is that you didn't want to celebrate the success of a game our platform can't play so you came up with an excuse to not show up?"

Goddammit did Mina know her CPU too well!

"I told her I came down with a case Lag Spike Fever and needed to stay in bed today…"

"So if you show up she'll know you were lying?"

"Yes…"

"(Sigh) Well if you must know all government contracts with the Guide of Planeptune are routed through Histoire so we can't send in our own agents or religate Ram's capture to third parties without raising suspicion. Like it or not, if you want Ram caught today without them finding out you HAVE to go yourself"

"Shit!" Blanc bit down on her hand out of quiet frustration

With all other avenues blocked to her she would have no choice but to take the plunge herself! For the sake of catching and punishing her vanished sister Blanc would make the journey and hunt for her personally. She'd show up to that damn party first for a few minutes, explain she had recovered rather quickly, pretend to enjoy herself, then make up some excuse for Neptune and the others for why she needed to do some shopping in the city. Sure going shopping instead of attending a celebration would be considered rather rude but right now Blanc was willing to take the hit to her image. With any luck she could find Ram and drag her back to Lowee before anyone could notice.

' _Goddammit Ram! Why do you have to be in the city were all the other Goddesses are gathered today?!_

Blanc had never told her sister's of the party so there was no chance she had done it on purpose but tha brought up another issue.

' _Why there anyway? What are you after?'_

With her headstart Ram could of vanished to any nation but she went the land of purple progress. Attempting to drag Neptune or Nepgear into the situation seemed unthinkable; Blanc would like to believe either of her sister's would never stoop so low as to make a personal matter a diplomatic problem on purpose. Still, in some regards it made sense; Planeptune was a massive goddamn city and easily made tracking her a nightmare with its huge population. Ram could've either hid off in some dank dungeon located in the ass-end of nowhere full of monsters while waiting to be found but instead she chose the one place where it's be even harder to find her while she could out getting a pizza or staying in a comfortable hotel for all Blanc knew!

' _Note to self; Metal cage in a dungeon as Ram's new bedroom'_

"Mina take care of Rom for me while I'm away. No matter what I'll be back before tonight"

"No"

Mina's response stopped Blanc dead mid-way through getting up out of her chair "What? Why?!"

Gently removing her hat to show she meant business Mina gave Blanc a deathly serious glare.

"You're taking Rom with you"

"Are you insane? Why would I do that?!"

"I know you're going after Ram so hard to see her punished but the punishment of one sister can't come at the cost of the other's happiness! Even if you claim this is all for Rom's sake I know you're so angry at Ram for more selfish reasons"

"Selfish? What does that goddam mean?!"

"Ram has humiliated the Lowee name with her behavior and you wish to see her pay for that. Punishing her will make YOU feel better not Rom!"

"But!?"

"Also, Rom is in a dark place now emotionally, she needs love and support from a precocious older sister to get her out of it. Perhaps seeing her friends in Nepgear and Uni may also help her"

"I can't show up to a party with her all weepy! There's no chance the others won't figure out something is wrong!"

Mina's eyes took on her famous "Terrify a Lowee CPU into submission" shine as she deployed a tactic that had worked on the twins time and time again

" **You . Are . Not . Leaving . Your . Sister . Behind** **"**

Letting lose a frustrated hiss from the side of her mouth Blanc gave in before Mina got any scarier. Honestly given a choice between an angry Mina and Iris Heart Blanc would take the sadist any day of the week for while she could inflict physical pain a CPU's oracle often knew how to inflict far more psychological torment in the long run.

"Just-Just get her dressed and ready to go before I change my mind…" the CPU conceded

Mina's smile returned "That's a good girl. If you have time for revenge you have time for family Captain Ahab" she cheered before leaving the room

With a huff Blanc sat back down in her chair "Except when I catch my pink whale a spear through the eye will the least of what I do to her..." she grumbled defiantly


	4. Party Hard

**Ram on the Run**

 **Chapter 4: Party Hard**

* * *

Planeptune Basilicom

"Hello Vert and Mini-Noire! Welcome to the party to end all parties! Drinks are in the cooler, chips are on the table, dream fluff is next to the nuka cola, and we just ordered a bunch of pizzas with more cheese than a ranked bronze match on ladder! Come on in!"

"T-Thanks Neptune! On behalf of Lastation we thank you for your e-effeorts to celebrate our r-recent release!"

"As always Neptune, it is a pleasure to be here"

Both CPUs bowed before Neptune; one out of practiced manners, the other out of nervous formality.

"Chill with the bowing ok! No need to be so formal around here! You could have come in shorts and a t-shirt reading "Pull my finger" and I wouldn't have cared!"

"Of course"

"R-Right! M-More casual! Sorry!"

"What gives Uni? You're freaking out, and more so than usual. Where is ole' lonely Noirey anyway? Afraid to come in case she might make some friends?"

"Oh s-s-she had to stay behind in L-Lastation for a little while to s-settle some matters. S-She told me to come on h-her behalf and no-not to e-e-embarrass our nation until she arrived l-l-later on!"

"Well chill out will ya? It's hard to party hardy with someone so nervous!"

"S-sorry!"

"You're apologizing again…" sang Neptune playfully

The look Uni gave in response annoyed Neptune, clearly Noire had sent her little sister over here after making some long-winded speech about properly conducting yourself while celebrating such a victory. Poor little Uni must have been a wreck as she agonized over paranoid thoughts of failing her favorite big sister by doing something _really_ embarrassing in front of everyone.

Hoping to calm her slightly Vert asked with a friendly smile "Does this have something to do with those new ships Lastation commissioned for their navy? I heard through the grapevine that they were causing quite the commotion these last few days"

Uni's eyes went white as she defensively yelled " It's just a few mechanical problems I swear!"

The truth was far more shameful and Noire would kill her little sister if Vert was allowed to find out. Recently Lastation had been having an issue with piracy. This wasn't the usual "game torrent and burned CDs" type piracy either; this was full blow "eye patches and parrots" type piracy! Some jackasses had been raiding their ships on the routes between Leanbox and Planeptune costing them countless credits in trade. In no time at all the Lastation navy was upgraded with a series of new ships but a rather embarrassing _issue_ had come up in regard to the lead ship's name. It wasn't a well known fact but Lastation tended to be less aware of trends and popular culture of the other nations (Neptune often joked this reflected Noire as their leader) which lead to them being somewhat tone deaf on the world stage at times.

Usually this was only a matter of a slight bit of lag when it came to foreign slang exchanged in meetings between them and outsiders but this time it was a bit worse than that. Uni had been so excited about the new battleships with their giant guns she couldn't help but sneak Nepgear in to see them one night; when the pink haired candidate started laughing hysterically upon seeing the lead ship's name she got worried. It turns out that when they named the ship no one in Lastation decided to see if the _P.S.N Scrublord_ might mean something else to the other nations.

' _No one caught that, seriously!? How the hell did no one catch that?!'_

Uni had never been more grateful to break the rules in her life; when Noire began yelling at her for showing an enemy head of state their experimental ships she dragged the giggling Nepgear in front of her sister to explain what that phrase meant to those outside of Lastation. Turns out one member of the navy heard the phrase while in port elsewhere and thought it sounded cool so when it was time to suggest names for the new ships it had been one of the winners chosen by a vote of equally clueless mariners.

' _A lord who scrubs the floor with their enemies my ass! Ugh! Sister and I would have died of embarrassment if it wasn't for Gear! Thank god she agreed not to tell Neptune!''_

Boy would that have been a scene if Noire went ahead with the ceremony tomorrow without the name change. Blackheart, in all her glory, christening the Scrublord on live world-wide TV while Blanc, Vert, and Neptune laughed their asses off in their Bassilcoms. Right now Noire was busy trying to cover up the existence of the original name while finding a suitable replacement; a task that would have been easier if it wasn't painted in bold, 20 foot tall, white letters on the side of the ship.

' _I hope sister can figure out how to remove a bunch of waterproof paint in less than 24 hours; I'm guessing you can't just wash that stuff off...'_

"Anyway, big sis should be here...eventually"

"That still leaves Blanc and the twins who don't appear to be here yet. Did you send them the right time for the party Neptune?"

"Sorry Vert, Blanc bailed on us. Said she was too sick to come"

By the way Neptune had her hands up and shrugged it was obvious she knew that was a lie. Lowee wasn't part of the new game launch like Planeptune and Blanc was never the type for parties so Neptune was hardly surprised.

"So that leaves us down a Noire, a Blanc, and two twins. (Sigh) At least I get to see my precious Nepgear"

"...Ummm..."

"Oh don't tell me-!"

"Nep Jr. left the tower about 15 minutes ago to do something in the park. I'll give her a call and see when she's coming back"

Vert put a hand to her forehead "Please do Neptune, I mean no disrespect to either you or Uni here but a party is hardly a party with three people Neptune. That's not even a party in most co-op games!"

"On it! Don't worry though, Histy is here (even if she's a party pooper most of the time) and little P-Ko just arrived from the other world five minutes ago. I swear by the power of the plumbob we will party like Sims! All of us will have fun until Drew Carey shows up, someone pees themselves, sets the kitchen on fire, drowns in a pool, and starves to death next to a buffet table!"

After that Uni went to politely chat up Histoire about how to remove waterproof paint while Vert found little Peashy playing with a pile of balloons on the floor. With her two guests taken care of Neptune got on the phone to figure out where to get more before this party went bust!

"Geeze why is everyone so busy today?! Iffy and Compa plus half the guild were called away to Lastation on some secret mission, Plutie was busy getting some work done to get Mini-Histy off her back _Literally, she refuses to leave until Plutia does some work for once_ , and that bailer Blanc wasn't even kind enough to send over Ram and Rom!" grunted Neptune as she dialed up Nepgear

 **Click!**

" _YES?! HELLO?! WHO IS THIS?!"_

"Me! Your poor big sister who's trying to host a party with no guests! I need your Nep butt back to the tower ASAP!"

" _SISTER?! CAN'T! PROBLEM! DATE! ASK! LATER! COME HOME LATER! BYE!"_

 **Click!**

"Holy dial tone noises! What the Nep was that about?!"

Nepgear had been shouting like she was in shock and did she mention something about a date?!

"Me thinks there's something mighty strange going on today…." Pondered Neptune considering all the strange events going on "It's like I'm in a story that doesn't star me! What kind of awful story doesn't star the heroine?!" she raised a fist in the air and declared "I know! I'll become more interesting so I'll become the focus of the story! I'll start by…!"

* * *

Virtua City Park

Nepgear slammed her phone closed after she had received that sudden call from her sister just seconds after Ram had asked her to take Rom out on date.

 _(Neptune: Curse you scene transitions, my mortal enemy!)_

Gear was completely floored by the request and had no idea how to respond. What were you supposed to say when a grade schooler asked you to take her twin sister out on a date?!

"You're going to say no, aren't you?!" asked a teary eyed Ram while still holding onto her sleeve

"No! I mean…! Not that way….No as in...no?"

"I knew you wouldn't help me!" said Ram in disgust upon seeing Nepgear stumble all over her words

"Hey hold on! I didn't mean to say that! I just-I just don't know how to handle this!" Nepgear explained

"I thought all dating is as simple as going someplace fun for a little while, getting something to eat, talking about stuff, then giving someone a goodbye kiss at the end?"

"Oh dear! Kissing?! I'm not mentally prepared for that!"

"Listen Nepgear, I need to get Rom something so amazing she'll forget about what I said; a date with you is perfect!" In nepgear's mind Ram almost sounded like a pushy car salesman as she made her pitch "She'll HAVE to forgive me after getting her something so great!"

"I don't understand! How will me going on a date with Rom help!? How do you know she even wants to go on a date with me?"

Ram's face lit up with a cunning smile "I know for a fact Rom wants to go on a date with you more than anything in the world!"

"She does?!"

"Yup! I read it in her diary!" The way she smiled and casually said it unnerved Nepgear a little. For someone who was torn up with guilt over one thing Ram certainly didn't feel any remorse about invading Rom's privacy!

"It's not right to read people's diaries! Wait a sec...That was really in there?!"

"Of course! Rom has a really huge crush on you Nepgear! She's had one for years!"

"..."

"..."

"Nepgear?"

" **WHAT THE GOODNESS?!"**

* * *

Lastation Dockyards

"I can't believe I'm missing Neptune's party for **THIS**!" sighed IF as she and most of the other makers continued to scrape away at the side of the ship they were all dangling from

"You said it yourself Iffy "We can't leave Lady Noire hanging when she's truly in need!"" said Compa imitating her exact words from earlier

IF wiped the sweat from her brow "Last Time I take a mission out of pity…"

As she swung by carrying a bucket of solvent for Falcom and Red a smiling Gust chipped in "What pitty? Lady Noire is paying Gust and the others triple their normal rate for this mission! So much profit!"

"Is everything fine down there?! Please tell me everything is fine!" came the echoing call of Noire from the elevated bridge

Compa suppressed a nervous laugh "Wow, Noire is really worried about this huh?"

"Well would you like to be the one to have to present this ship tomorrow?"

IF could see Compa shiver in response "No way! The only way this could be any worse for her is if…" Compa looked around before whispering"-Is if **that** was painted on the side **!"**

IF giggled a little "Aw come on, who'd be THAT dumb? Everyone knows you never say **that** to anyone let alone paint it in giant letters on the side of a ship!"

"Is something wrong down there?!"

"No Noire! We got everything handled down here! You keep up what you're doing!" IF shouted to the bridge

"What is Lady Noire doing by the way? Gust wonders why she's not down here with us?"

"Oh she's trying to come up with a new name for the ship before tomorrow" IF explained "Turns out she's pretty terrible at naming things if what Uni told me is true, that's why they had a contest to name the ships in the first place"

Up on the bridge Noire was currently tearing through an entire notebook of paper as she struggled to come up with a replacement name in time "Highwind? No. Forward Unto Dawn? No! Yamato? No! Shadow of Intent? Maybe?" she muttered to herself frantically.

Below her Compa asked IF a question that had been bugging her "Um Iffy? Did anyone check to see if the other ships had any problems like this?

"..."

"Iffy?"

"...I'm just going to go check real quick…" IF nervously laughed as she began to repel down to the drydock floor with a cold sweat forming.

"Miss Compa? Gust and Everyone else are going to be here a while aren't we?"

"Looks like…" sighed Compa as she went back to work knowing she wasn't making it to Neptune's party today


End file.
